My life is featureless and flat (basically drama-less). It feels like I have released all attachment - both outwardly in terms of worldly enticements and inwardly in relation to emotions and thoughts. Despite such attainment, I am neither free nor in touch with divine guidance. What could possibly be holding me back? I have done everything imaginable to die to illusion, including surrendering everything in my life to God (repeatedly).
Deep inside, every human being holds a dream - a deep hope for their personal self or ego. That is what is refusing to fall away, despite all the releasing you have done thus far.
Such a dream is the deep taproot of illusion. Losing the fruits, the leaves, the branches, the bark and even the trunk of such a creation (although highly painful) is still tolerable or acceptable to that part of your consciousness.
That's because at some level your ego understands, that as long as the "root" remains (safely hidden and protected in the dark underground of your consciousness), everything else can regenerate over time. Conversely, it knows that nakedly exposing it to Divine Light will destroy any possibility of such an illusory dream ever sprouting up or manifesting again.
As you can imagine, such a possibility is terrifying to the ego, not only because of the change involved, but because it is so permanent. Hence, most every human will reflexively choose to endure the worst or most boring (but familiar) nightmare imaginable rather than face something so irrevocably new.
This is what is occurring in your case. Even though the outward drama has died down considerably (due to your releasing efforts), your taproot is still alive and kicking. The proof being, you still respond (often like a starving man in the presence of long-forgotten food) whenever the possibility of your ego dream finally coming to pass arises. The prospect of facing even deeper losses around your dream also quickly garners your attention.
As such, be very watchful of any wishes or efforts on your part (no matter how small, subtle or sneaky) to be a better version of you (as an ego-centered being). Feeding such a hope will only yield more fruit from that poisoned tree of illusion. Such harvests (although sweet tasting in the moment) are ultimately toxic and deadly.
God is not calling you to give up every "thing" in your life; he wants something much more valuable - your dream of a separate existence. All outer and inner offerings (previous releases) only have value to the degree they clear the way to reveal such a core attachment. Consequently, "you" (as you currently imagine yourself to be) can never get free because that idea of "you" is just a dream, a fleeting shadow, a false notion. Only through releasing such a fabrication can the eternal freedom of who you already are and have always been (a beloved child of God) finally emerge. Hence, in order to truly live, the illusory dream of "you" must die!
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