Illusions of innocence

Question

I'm having difficulty with a particularly hostile, unhappy and noisy woman who lives next door. Recently, she was away on a trip and I literally felt bliss just sitting at home. I really feel I am finally "close" to holding only Love in my heart, but there's this little glitch that just doesn't budge; that keeps triggering old wounds of victimhood. I welcome your perspective on this seemingly immovable obstruction.

Answer

There are times we are meant to simply endure challenging situations, to trust God's (not yet fully revealed) purpose in such matters. At other times (as stated in last week's Wisdom message), such disturbances are helpful pointers to what next needs to be released in order to expand our experience of Love. This is what is occurring in your case.

To unravel this "seemingly immovable obstruction", begin by asking yourself "what would you lose by giving up your victim status?" Consider that you fear surrendering your victimhood because it also entails letting go of the concept of a perpetrator. If there is no perpetrator, then there is no "crime". Hence all of your judgment (both past and present) would have no basis.

Often, we stubbornly hold onto victimhood because we deeply cherish the feeling that comes with blaming or judging another. Seeing them as bad or evil allows us to indulge in the fantasy that we are somehow better, essentially more innocent in nature. Ultimately, like a wolf in sheep's clothing, such delusions of victimhood are just one more sly attempt on the part of the ego to hide its true nature.

To free yourself from such an egoic stronghold, remind yourself (the exact moment you have thoughts or feelings of being a victim), that such notions are just a superficial mask for underlying superiority issues. Ultimately, they are always an attempt to convince ourselves, the world and even our illusory idea of God that somehow we (as an ego) are worth preserving. Hence, your attachment to victimhood is no small glitch; it is the cornerstone of your illusion.

Higher Forces are seeking to rid you of such a delusion, not because it is "bad" (from a human way of thinking), but because such false superiority and illusions of innocence hide (and therefore keep you separate from) your eternal greatness and essential purity as a beloved child of God. Until you strip away such an illusory cover of innocence and clearly expose the egoic wolf hiding underneath, both layers of deception will remain firmly intact (each one anchoring the other in place).

The ability to hold only Love in your heart simply will not materialize as long as you are preoccupied with slicing up the world into "good" and "bad". Only through surrendering such long treasured duality, can you pass through the narrow gate of surrender into liberating Oneness!